The One Skill That Will Make You A Better Partner, Parent, Colleague, and Friend

A psychologist shares a therapy secret than can transform your life.

Whether you’re trying to defuse tension with a coworker, support a struggling friend, or get through to your own teenager, do you ever feel like you’re saying all the right things—and still not getting anywhere? Really making yourself understood often feels just out of reach, no matter how carefully you choose your words.

That’s because real influence doesn’t come from clever arguments or perfect timing. According to clinical psychologist Caroline Fleck, it starts with something far more powerful—a skill that therapists have relied on for decades to build trust, create change, and foster connection with their patients. Below, she teaches that skill to the rest of us: