The Science of Overcoming Limits: A Conversation with Nir Eyal

Why seeing your beliefs as tools, rather than fixed truths, can improve your relationships, your career, and your self-image.

If you’ve ever set a new goal only to find yourself giving up in frustration later, I have some good news for you. The issue may not have been a lack of effort or discipline. Instead, it might have been something as simple as your belief about the goal.

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In a recent Substack Live, I sat down with Nir Eyal, the bestselling author of Hooked and Indistractable, and one of the leading thinkers on habits and behavior. His new book, Beyond Belief, explores how the beliefs we carry, often without realizing it, shape what we do and what we think is possible.

Whether it was his distinction between feel-good mindset advice—like trying to “think positive”—and actual research-backed behavior change, or his argument that many of our relationship problems are really belief problems (stories we’re telling ourselves that feel true but may not be serving us), Nir kept coming back to one idea: beliefs aren’t truths—they’re tools. And when you start to see them that way, you can begin to change what you see, how you act, and what you think is possible.

Watch the full conversation above—or jump to a few highlights:

Timestamps

01:08 The difference between fact, faith, and belief
03:15 Why helplessness is our default state
07:02 How beliefs shape what we see—and what we miss
10:28 “We don’t have relationship problems—we have belief problems”
12:40 A simple method for challenging limiting beliefs
24:00 Why positive thinking and affirmations often fall short
30:00 “Motivation is pain management.”
35:30 Chronic pain and belief
39:35 Anxious? Here’s why you should schedule “worry time”
48:33 The science of luck
52:48 “Love is measured by the benefit of the doubt.”